#6 what now?

There are only two ways out of it. Either biding goodbye, and learning to live on our own or saying hello, in a manner of speaking, and learning to live with embracing what was supposed to have a shot. A shot in real life...Or the middle-ground with us going back to our dynamics from the turn of the years...Which I would be totally able to handle and come to terms with if you got back with him...But to find someone new? When you promised that I would be the next in line? I probably wouldn't be able to live with that. Maybe it was foolish of me, but I believed you.

Now, the truth is...not everything is lost and it doesn't have to be. As long as it isn't serious, there is a way to work it out, there is still a shot for us. Because, as I now realized, feelings are independent from each other, they don't cancel each other out...feelings for different people. It is possible to feel strongly about two people. Sure, one feeling will always be deeper than the other, the connection between people, shaped by various conditions, and it will, in fact, prevail the other.

And as much as I am sure that your feelings towards me or this new guy will never influence the way that you feel about your ex (that only works one way, forwards) and I would never expect such thing happening....The same goes for this new guy affecting your feelings and attitude towards me. If you felt something for me, then there is no way that this new wave of excitement would be able to make you forget all about it. At least not at this stage, I truly believe that. Which could make things even more complicated for you in the long run, if I'd visit...

And I held back once from complicating your life, but I won't anymore. I want to have a shot at this, at least one shot. For all the months that I sticked around you and grew to care more and more for you, I gained this privilege...To have what I didn't have to begin with -  a fair chance in the fight for your heart, which I still intend on pursuing and which you knew all along. And you shouldn't take it away from me – because, to be honest, you'll never know until you'll find out – and then if you'll feel as if I am too much or not enough...I will have no further objections. I'll leave that decision to you.

I feel like a king of wishful thinking right now...And I do hope that I'm not wrong and that in fact, you won't throw it away like that without the slightest of consideration. Because, as contrived and a bit frightening as it may sound, I am crazy about you. (And that spark that's back in my eye, despite your revelation, only proves that.) And I need to see for myself if those dreams that I held for the last few months hold anything true. And I think you should too. I see no obstacles in the way of that. Hence, you were ready to meet up with me even when you were in a relationship, so it shouldn't be a problem now. Dot.